Diary of a wimpy ass princess

thirty. flirty. and thriving

or whatever the hell Jenna rink said……..

Hey bitch… wait how old were we? 13 yeah we was saying bitch then! Hey bitchhhh! I hope this finds you in time. I wish I could tell you to run away, but you’d fold. I know the weight of the life you carry with no answers is heavy. Especially because no one around you can understand you. I hate to say this but you’ll be looking for your tribe for a while…. But not as actively as you keep looking for answers.

The tribe thing is tricky! You’ll find some…. Love them & lose them along the way! It’s not you it’s not personal. Sometimes when your concept of life is greater than those around you, they hate what they can’t understand!

Don’t let them misguide you, don’t let them break you down. Their reality is theirs NOT YOURS you don’t have to conform to their mind… their beliefs their reality….. YOUR reality is the one you know. It’s YOUR TRUTH! It’s truly what you live but can’t seem to get anyone else to perceive….News FULASH you’re not gonna, just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to forever. Just because you’re in close proximity to someone doesn’t mean they’re a part of your tribe.

Let me be real with you! This one might hurt cause I know how you feel about you ….. but Them bitches do not like you they’re never gonna. They just like the attention that come with you. The bitches that don’t like you HATES the attention that come with you and that’s why they act like that. Don’t worry it’s okay to rock out by yourself when you’re surrounded by circumstances that you don’t wanna be in. When you’re in the rooms you enjoy and you still don’t fit in ….. then you can give up! but that’s not gonna happen cause I’m in those rooms now……

Remember family is something you choose & build brick by brick, not something you’re born into. & ours ???? Boy are they doing a number on you. They’re causing you to doubt yourself, but you shouldn’t. Keep challenging narratives you don’t agree with! Keep holding people accountable to their word. And do not be afraid to correct an adult. As an adult …… yall got it more together than us I’m tellin ya.

Yes they’re gonna keep telling you quit rushing to be grown you gone long for the days to be a kid again when you are grown and they’re half right cause honestly bills a mf now that im grown…. I mean they was a muthafucka before but now that im grown they two muthafuckas fucking muthas at the same muthafuckin time.

But still girl I don’t miss being you. you not longing to be grown, you longing to be free and you ain’t wrong. You wish you had the freedom to tell people no without being called a selfish little bitch, you’re not by the way. you wish you had the freedom to think outside of the constraints of what your peers see in front of them. You long to be free to dream out loud without some narrow minded sadistic prick trying to bring you down to their realm of consciousness. Self identify babe, you DONT need external validation.

They’ve envied you from the moment you could speak & you not wrong for hating them back. Spoiler alert, they never apologize , in fact it gets worse. I promise you tho……they’re not invited to our wedding. You don’t have to worry about that. Partly because I haven’t found a man for us but mostly because if I had one they’d watch the wedding on tv with the rest of the villagers.

Also STOP worrying! You’ll have your desires simply because you deserve what you want & you earned it…. WE earned it ….. You do have to work hard but you’re passionate so it should be easy! I wish I could hold you. I wish I could let you know that this is temporary and what seems like eternal torture is actually devine preparation. But really I need you to feel it all for my sake , so that when you long for those memories you remember all they cost you & decide not to settle for the sake of old times.

I know nothing makes sense & you have more questions than anyone else & no one can give you a straight answer. You should consider learning patience. Everything you’re going through made me who we are today. You’d love this bitch fr! I know it gets hard but see it through your self reliance your confidence and drive is all a result of it. I’m who we always dreamed because of you. Thank you for sticking it out. Thank you for not conceding to the darkness. Thank you for doing your part. I swear you’re the only reason I’m able to do my part. Because your courage despite not understanding the world around you forced me to get a grip. If little ole you can over come all that you did and be brave despite literally having no idea no evidence no guidance I HAVE NO FUCKING CHOICE.

Because I’ve seen it. So yes! It was a premonition, yes they come true & no they don’t stop. But there’s an upside to them….. The life we have right now is the exact life I saw in our head then wrote down in our journal and prayed to God about only two years ago. But we’ll save the premonitions for phoebes edit.

In two years time the life we’ll have will be the one you’d illustrate when you locked yourself in the closet to write about at 5213. You weren’t writing about a girl who inspired you, it wasn’t fiction….. it WAS YOU! It’s me! It was prophecy. Six years old writing the prophecy of our life.

No I am not a fairy God mother but I have granted your wishes .

And I will continue to. Because you deserve it… we deserve it. We worked so hard for this and I’m not stopping until every single thing we wrote down or drew out in that closet at 5213 is visible not just for us but for the world to see. I LOVE you. Don’t forget to love you too ♥️

Your self consciousness is not something that’s yours but it comes from people pleasing…stop & you’ll never loose sight of yourself. You’ll never lose sight of me. At this big ole age I feel more like you now than I ever have. You longed for the days & now I get it.

Thirty, flirty, FINE ASFUCK ✨